Brush your hair. You look like an idiot.

I am still hesitant to publicise which town I live in. For one, if I offend any of the locals, it wouldn't take much thinking to work out who I am. Luckily for me, most of the locals don't seem to do much thinking.

Needless to say it was approximately three years ago that I moved here. You all might know it as about the change of era where 'our' youth decided it would be cool to start dressing like those of you who are my age did when we were young. I am referring to the 80's look that has resurfaced. Funny, actually how the music resurfaced about 10 years ago, but only now has the fashion reared it's ugly head.

It's part of the reason I am so disillusioned by it all. You see, when my family and I told our friends and relatives back home, that we were planning to move to [our current locality], we were all told that the town was about 10 years behind the rest of the country. Next thing you know, we have made the big commute and sure enough, people are dressing like they did decades ago. Most shops still don't open on Sundays and probably the most unbelievable of all, there are still a substantial number of businesses that do not offer EFTPOS as a payment option.

Our family were right. This town is 10 years behind everyone else. So naturally I assumed the fashion was too. Well I was wrong. It seems that the youth of today are up with the fashion. But it's not the youth of today who are running the businesses. They're too fuckin lazy. They all have it way too easy. Living at home whilst claiming the Centrelink 'living away from home allowance'. They all drive better cars than me, whilst I bust my arse in the 9-to-5. You figure that out. It wasn't until four or five months later, when my wife had finalised the sale of our house back home and had come up to join me, that I realised the 80's rehash was nation wide. Possibly world wide.

At this point I will admit that I was not unlike these kids. In fact it was my mother-in-law who pointed out to me that the genuine 80's look I tried so hard to achieve 20 odd years ago was, in itself, a rehash of the 60's 'mod' look.

Thing is, the kids of today have put their own spin on it. Instead of the teenage boys spending potentially hours brushing, gelling, blow waving their hair all in the one direction (which was any direction other than down), now they are spending equal amounts of time competing to see who can make their hair the messiest. For crying out loud. Buy these people a brush dag-nabbit!

You wanna know what it is that really pisses me off about this though? Probably not, but I am gonna tell you anyways. No matter how much time I spent trying to get my hair all to go in the same direction, I failed. My hair was a mop of wiry messy, messy bush. This of course cemented the fact that I was never going to be a popular teenager. And now today they're spending a fortune to achieve a look that I could achieve in my sleep. in fact the less time I spent on it then, the more fashionable it would be now.

Ya gotta love it though. Like these 'emo' kids getting around in their black clothes and black lipstick and black nail polish. The 'non-conformists'. Their policy, if you will, is to not confirm to the trends that their peers have deemed so popular. Then why is it then, that they have all adopted the same look? They are essentially conforming to 'non-conformity'. Wow...heavy stuff. Cheer up emo kid.

Damn I am glad I am past defining myself by the way I look. Today I am fatter and balder than I have ever been before, and yet I am happier than I have ever been before. Except when I have to crap. But I have already told you that story.