Nearly every day I eat my lunch by myself in the lunch room at work. It’s not that I don’t like anyone that works there. I don’t think it’s a case that they don’t like me. Perhaps they just think my breath stinks but don’t want to tell me, but that’s another story.
Nah I guess I just like to take the opportunity to chill out and not have to think too hard. Well luckily for me the lunch room is chock full of women’s magazines, where I can just read some mind numbingly boring article about some trashy young adult Hollywood movie star who has either been in and out of love since last months issue, been in and out of re-hab since last months issue, been in and out of court since last months issue or just in and out of consciousness since last months issue.
But here’s my dilemna, and it really strains my brain to understand this one. On every page of every magazine I pick up is a picture of a good looking, semi-clad female. “So what’s the problem?”…I hear you say. Well first of all, I cannot help wondering why so many women all over the world continue to buy magazines full of semi-clad women. You see, I know why so many men of the world continue to buy them…because they intend at some point to have a wank over them. That pretty much goes without saying. But what is it that attracts the women to these magazines?
To be honest I don’t really care about that one. The real problem I have is that I work in an office where it is very important to remain politically correct. Now, I really don’t mind being subjected to pictures of beautiful women. At the very least, it is a sacrifice I am willing to make for the team. But last I heard it is not politically correct to be seen looking at pictures of semi-clad women in the office. So instead I find myself picking up one of these magazines, I turn to the first page and it begins:
“oops can’t be seen looking at this page”…turn to next page…
“oops can’t be seen looking at this page”…turn to next page…
“oops can’t be seen looking at this page”…turn to next page…
“oops can’t be seen looking at this page”…turn to next page…
“oops can’t be seen looking at this page”…turn to next page…
etc, etc, etc until I have finished the magazine.
So now I have just picked up a magazine, and literally flicked through the pages without stopping to read a single article. Apart from the fact that It is now only 5 minutes into my lunch break and I have nothing left to read, I now have a room full of women looking at me disapprovingly because all I have done is flick through this magazine without reading any of the ‘interesting articles’ (I use that term loosely). So if I am not reading the articles what is it then, that I am doing?
“Well isn’t it obvious, he is just perving on all the semi-clad women! Typical male!”
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2 comments:
If you can't be seen looking at those magazines at the workplace than who is it that is bringing them to the workplace. I say take your chances...what are they gonna do...fire you!?! ;)
Kathy thanks. While I believe your advice is correct, 80 - 90% of the people I work with are middle aged women. Hence all the women's magazines. Problem there is they're all a bunch of gossip queens and each one is more judgemental than the next.
It's not the being fired I am concerned about. It's the reputation I gain amongst my so called peers. And whilst in my social life I generally don't give two rats clackers what people think of me, I like my job and don't wish to make it an uncomfortable place to be.
Thank you for being my inaugural commentor. I was beginning to think this lane on the information super highway was closed.
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